It was the end of an era last Thursday when we said goodbye to my father-in-law, Colonel Teague Gray Harris, Jr., who died thirteen days short of his 100th birthday. It was a beautiful day in San Antonio. The ceremony was led by the Rev. Stanford Adams of the Episcopal Church of the Good Shepherd in Austin. The Colonel's grandchildren read from his bible, and sharp, young members of the honor guard detail at Fort Sam Houston performed the military rites.
I was honored to deliver the eulogy:
Good Morning,
I am Dragana Arežina Harris, and I have been fortunate to know
my father-in-law, Teague Gray Harris, Jr, fondly known as “Bucky” to many of
his peers, for most of my adult life. We called him Colonel out of deep respect
for his history, sacrifice, patriotism, and principles by which he led his
life.
The Colonel was born on a farm in South Carolina on
August 17, 1919, one hundred years ago, during the post WWI recession. The
middle child of a school teacher and a cotton farmer, he learned good old Southern
principles of hard work, frugality, and honesty at an early age.
Although the Colonel’s entrance into military service
was somewhat serendipitous, once hooked, he embraced it completely. He was
appointed to West Point by a US senator. It was an honor that he didn’t take
seriously at first, until he went on a blind date who was quite impressed, and
she urged him to go. He graduated from the United States Military Academy West
Point in June 1943, after which he served as a B-24 pilot with the 458th Bomber
Group, Eighth Air Force in Horsham St. Faith Air Base in East Anglia,
England.
The Colonel became an accomplished pilot during World War
II, and during the return from his eleventh mission, his plane, named Bomb
Totin’ Mama, was shot down over England. Half of his crew was killed in the
crash and he was assumed dead at first and placed in the morgue. He was found alive the following morning, and over the
next year he recovered from a broken back and third-degree burns. He continued to
serve the Air Force and retired after 30 years, but not before earning several
military honors: Legion of Merit with Oak Leaf Cluster, the Air Medal, the
Purple Heart, and the Air Force Commendation Medal. His heroism exemplifies
America’s Greatest Generation.
He married the love of his life, Mary Virginia Grant,
and together for 64 years, they raised two admirable sons, traveled the
world in a military capacity, represented the United States Air Force in
exemplary fashion, and always honored their humble roots and family.
Colonel Harris lived a life of great discipline and
made sure that his sons, Teague and John, did so too. The young boys were
always buzz cut. When he became commander of the base near Athens in the early
70’s, he rigorously enforced the rules, much to the younger generation’s
dismay. Letters of reprimand crossed the Atlantic from Greece to Houston, when
my husband, Teague, then a freshman at Rice University, let his hair grow below
his shirt collar. Many years later, now a resident of Austin, the Colonel
finally embraced his younger son John’s ponytail, but not before many heated
debates.
As an immigrant to the US, the Colonel and Mrs. Harris
taught me about their Southern culture and traditions. These included elaborate
Thanksgiving dinners in South Carolina and San Antonio, when the Colonel always
carved the turkey with great pride. He loved biscuits, experimenting with
sourdough, and grits. He ate bacon for breakfast almost every day, and fried
chicken for Sunday dinner. Pralines and boiled peanuts were also high on his
list. His BLT’s with homegrown tomatoes, “pimmena” cheese sandwiches, and
pickled peaches became my favorites, partly because we both love to eat, and
the Colonel taught me to love it all.
The Colonel underwent a ‘softening’ in character when
Susan and I joined the family, and even more when he became a grandfather to
Alex, Emilia and Haley. They loved listening to his personal accounts of WWII
and spending time with him on the Harris ranch near Lometa. During one trip
when they were still very young, the Colonel lined them and their cousins up
and taught them to click their heels and salute him whenever he passed by.
The ranch is where he taught Haley how to whittle, and
later, it became a place of gathering during opening weekend for deer hunting,
where he provided the steaks and managed to wrangle the younger generation
during heated political discussions. It was the Col’s way or the highway, and
no one dared sit in his recliner as the repercussions would be dire. My son,
Alex, who attended these manly weekends when he was old enough, remembers that
“grandpa always had my back”, especially during poker games against his wily
opponents.
The Colonel loved woodworking. He crafted many
cherished pieces of furniture for our homes, and he didn’t forget his
grandchildren - a rocking horse that Haley named Bucky Buckaroo, Santa’s
reindeer, beds and other furniture for Emilia and Haley’s American Girl dolls,
and a solid wooden car and train set for Alex. He loved the challenge of
do-it-yourself repairs and excelled at it. He loved restoring old furniture and
making clocks.
There’s another side to the Colonel though: when I
asked my daughter, Emilia, to describe her grandfather, the first words that
came to her mind were “trouble-maker”. She recalls her grandpa telling them a
story about an incident during his childhood in Greystone. He was put in a
closet as punishment whereupon he preceded to wreak havoc by climbing to the
top shelf and throwing things to the floor. He recalls, “They thought they were
teaching me a lesson, meanwhile, it was I who was teaching them a lesson!”
The Colonel recently revealed that during his flight
training near Smyrna, Tennessee, he and a fellow pilot secretly commanded a
plane and took a couple of young ladies for an illegal spin over the town. He
said, “I wouldn’t qualify as an angel. I haven’t done anything bad, but I like
to stir things up!” More recently, I found him chasing unsuspecting staff in
his scooter down the hallway in the retirement home. He claimed many times that
he was living among old folks, one of which he was not.
The Colonel was always dedicated to his family and
upon retirement, he and Mrs. Harris moved back to Greenville, South Carolina,
where they lovingly took care of their parents until their deaths. In Austin,
this devotion was once again evident when he cared for Mrs. Harris with much
passion and intensity. I saw that same incredible devotion in the way that John
and Susan, whom I have called Saint Susan many times, cared for the Colonel in
his last years. My husband, Teague, and the Colonel spent many times on the road
in search of the best barbecue, at the same time admiring county courthouses in
the Hill Country along the way.
The Colonel had a voice of authority, and we remember
many strongly worded letters to AT&T and the homeowner’s association. Many
years ago, during a friendly argument when I disagreed with him, he told me to
“get back on the boat”. I was taken aback at first, but soon realized he said
it in jest. He created a t-shirt especially for me to emphasize his point – a
boat on the front with “get back on the boat”, and on the back it reads “Just
kidding, you’re a keeper!” I will treasure that t-shirt always.
The Colonel’s goal in the last few years was to make
it to 100. His will to live was so strong that he underwent two surgeries to
repair broken legs – always with a positive attitude and little complaint. In
the end, his physical being was greatly diminished, but his mind and his
presence were considerable. Where I come from, one turns the age of your
birthday on January 1st, so Colonel, in keeping with Serbian reason, you made
it!
I was very lucky to have worked at the retirement home where the colonel made his home in his last years. As a veteran, and someone who still owes a debt to the United States, it was my honor and my privilege to serve the colonel and hopefully keep him comfortable and happy in the winter of his distinguished life. One thing I think I can impart to your family, the strict and rigid disciplined Colonel Harris was not the man that I knew. I never saw an inkling of that in him. He was relaxed, content, friendly, approachable, affable, always with a good sense of humor and quick with retort, and what I would describe as a true Southern gentleman's way about him. I will always feel lucky to have had the opportunity to know him. And I will never forget him. He's sort of an unforgettable man.
ReplyDeleteThank you, John, for your service, and your commitment to making the Colonel's life a happy one. We appreciate your kind words. The Colonel was indeed very laid back and funny up until the end, and he always kept us on our toes! Cheers to you and cheers to the Colonel!
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